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    sábado, 22 de julho de 2023

    To my daughter Melanie (May, 2023)

     *** ATÉ 02/04 ESTÁ INSERIDO NO MÊS DE ABRIL, VERIFICAR O FINAL DO MÊS DE ABRIL ***


    03-05/05 - Chapter 58: Heartless uncle, Meeting the other grandparents and Quinceañera

    We landed safe and sound in São Paulo, and back to f*cking Brazil. It always makes me sad to step foot in this country. It seems that the air is polluted by tragedy, crime, corruption, injustice... But well, ur "uncle", my father's half-brother, went to pick us up in a van, since it would be impossible for us to return with a car full of luggage. He didn't know you, but when he saw you on your dad's lap, he didn't even look at your face, and I'm sure he knew u were his niece. Strange, weird people people. Your paternal grandfather, my father's father, divorced Bisa Sonia when she was very young, if I'm not mistaken she was 27 years old, younger than mommy.

    Your great-grandma already had 3 children, your grandpa (12), your uncle Rodney (about 7), and your aunt Rosane (3/4)... He met this woman, fell in love and ended up divorcing my grandma. The worst thing is not that, the worst thing is that in the beginning he was even a present father, but over time he built this new family with this new woman, and completely forgot his first family. He was just a father who helped financially, but he didn't see his children anymore.

    Time passed and the distance between them increased. Only your grandpa is closer to him because they worked together, but Rodney and Rosane don't even talk to their father anymore. He doesn't even know the names of his grandchildren (Rodney and Rosane's children). Your paternal great-grandfather is not a bad person, he even pays a pension for your great-grandma, which he has no obligation to do anymore. Oh, after a while divorced he joined the evangelical church and his whole family is evangelical. Those fanatical religious families who only live for religion. Pastors, they only know how to talk about religion, religion, going to church, dancing in church... They preach the word of God so much, but they know little about the meaning and love of family. Even though my father was closer to his father and half brother, he wouldn't even look at your face, your little angel's face. You... the cutest 6 month baby. Even strangers stop to say you're beautiful or play with you, and YOUR HALF UNCLE, who has your blood, seeing his half niece there and... NOTHING. I repeat: WEIRD PEOPLE. But well, nevermind this weird family. May they be happy. We got home and finally you met your grandparents. At first you cried in their arms, but little by little they grew on you.

    There were very good days with your paternal grandparents. They loved you. We all had a great time and things turned out even better than we imagined, especially when it comes to communication between your maternal and paternal grandparents.


    Everything turned out much better than we expected. On the last night before they left, we had a quinceañera, they ended up staying at home to rest for the next day's trip. So it went me, u, my dad and my mom. I haven't been to a quinceañera in a long time, I LOVE IT!

    We arrived a little late so we ended up missing some of the food. Everyone loved seeing you, you were beautiful daughter. Look at your outfit.



    But a little after the ceremony, the music that the DJ was playing started and the noise was UNBEARABLE. Not only for you, even for myself it was an unusual noise. ou couldn't stay even a minute inside, and outside it was cold, so we ended up going back early.
    But it was worth it just to see you dressed so beautifully.



    I'm going to tell you a little about this 15th birthday party we have in Brazil known as "Quinceañera". Is a well-known ritual in society. The family introduce their 15'old girl to friends and family at a large party to celebrate the transition from girl to "woman".
    "Woman" in quotes, right, because at 15 you're still a teenager... Actually pretty much starting to be a teenager, and it takes a long time to actually become a woman. But let's say you are no longer seen as a child by society.
    Usually, during the party reception, the girl wears a more basic dress and then changes it for a more special one,usually a princess dress for the long-awaited dance. This act symbolizes the transition from girl to "woman"! Receive a jewel as a birthday present as well. The special dance with the father, godfather, grandpa and with the “prince”, who can be a friend or boyfriend
    The presence of 15 couples to dance and each couple represents a year of your life.
    These pairs are usually the birthday girl's friends, 15 girls and 15 boys. Usually has beautiful speeches from family and friends for the birthday girl. Anyway, it's an unforgettable party and I dare say it was one of the happiest days of my life, almost tied with the day you were born, because they are different emotions. I will never forget my princess day, and I will never forget this wonderful party hosted by my parents. It's an expensive party, which not everyone can afford, and by the time I turned 15, my father wasn't even that well off financially, but they managed to do it, and I'll be grateful to them for the rest of my life because that memory it's one of the prettiest I have. They literally bought one of the happiest days of my life, and a memory that as long as I live, I will never forget. I felt like a princess, a true Cinderella. As you may know, Cinderella has always been my favorite princess and I tried to copy everything, including my prince at the time, who came with a silver shoe to put in my foot, giving impression that it was made of crystal.
    And it was perfect because my favorite color is baby blue, the same color as Cinderella's dress. Nothing could have been more perfect. It was a magical night.










    I honestly don't know if you'll have it because the plan is not to live in Brazil, and something from here and Mexico. If you don't live here, it's not common and you probably won't even know that this celebration exists. But, I assure you, if you are in Brazil, you will have your party. And even if you're anywhere in the world and want a party like this, I'll give it to you! No matter what.
    That said, at the Maria Clara party we were at, my cousin Marina came to tell me that she wouldn't want a party, that her parents told her that traveling to Europe would be much better. And now that she's growing up, they always say things like that. But let me tell you something, your uncle Júnior, he's wonderful, a top-10 uncle, but he's VERY tightwad. VERY. And this is known by everyone. And he earns well, okay?
    As for Débora, she is also a wonderful person, but he cannot understand some of the luxuries that we can have in life. She doesn't understand, for example, when her daughter wants a Kipling backpack, a specific brand, and compares it with one in any store. She even leaves donations in the building's donation box (a specific box that residents leave things to be donated to people in need), but do u know what she does? PICKS things out of the box that are good, or she thinks are good, and she's not even shy about saying it. Imagine taking something out of a donation box. It's not because she's giving away something that she can get another one. It's not a swap box, it's a donation and charity box. Anyway... Because they think the party spends a lot of money and is an unnecessary luxury, they keep trying to convince her that it's an irrelevant party. Don't get me wrong. People are different. They like and want different things. If it came from her wanting a trip and not liking to party, great. But her parents tried to convince her that it's something unimportant because they don't want to spend the money it's unfair. Travel you can do the rest of your life, this party is once in a lifetime. But still, it depends on each person's profile. But, believe me, my cousin Marina is the profile that would LOVE to have a party. It is a pity that her father does not give the importance that his daughter deserves. Let her truly choose. And if she still chooses the trip, then yes, it's fair.

    Well, back to your paternal grandparents, on the 7th they left, because on the 8th your little cousin Chloe would turn 1 year old and they wanted to be present. But, don't worry love, if everything works out you'll still see them again this year.


    16/05 - Chapter 59: First tooth

    Baby girl, today I felt your first tooth, just a little before you turned 7 months old. And your grandma Celeste when you went tjere at night said she saw a tooth, just confirming what I already suspected. Yay.


    18/05 - Chapter 60: To good to be true

    Babe, since we went to Orlando you started waking up 1x to breastfeed. Before, you slept 11/12 hours straight, and since we went there, things have changed a little. Now, you don't just wake up 1x, but sometimes 2, 3 and sometimes up to 4. Usually you wake up at 5 and 8 am and after breastfeeding you go until 11:30/12. We don't know what's going on. If the trip had an impact, if the food introduction is causing you gas and discomfort, if you wake up because of the milk... Or if it was my big mouth to tell everyone that you slept like an angel and some evil eye hit us.


     19/05 - Chapter 61: Happy 7m, Tinkerbell

    Today you turned 7 months little princess. It was your Tinkerbell birthday and I couldn't help but put the blonde wig on you, it was so cute! 7 months of much love and affection! My love for you only grows.




    20-30/05 - Chapter 62: Challenges everywhere

    Babe, I'm going to make a summary because it was difficult to catch up. I promise I'll do my best now to update my diary for you daily, okay? 1) Your father and I contacted a good immigration lawyer. The options are slim, and sometimes hope seems fading, but I'm fighting hard, and I'll keep fighting to get you out of this country. I won't describe much here because as I said (I don't think anyone reads this here, I HOPE NOT, but we never know) the evil eye is something that may seem silly, but we don't know its effectiveness.

    I'll only tell you when I have something concrete. I can only say that when I get discouraged, I find strength in you. 2) Your dad and I are fighting for a relationship too, it's hard but we're trying.

    3) Larissa, your aunt Tayna's sister-in-law was your nanny for just a few days, it didn't work out because of the distance and now Pietra will be your new nanny temporarily. She loved it and is very attached to you.

    By the way, you're giving me trouble to eat, because the baby food can't have any pieces/chunks since you don't eat. It needs to be a specific thickness. And the only baby food you are accepting - so far - is Pietra's (and Gerber's lol)

    Your little cousin celebrated his birthday at the children's buffet and you were dressed like a princess. But it was a lot of work at the party, because that day I didn't take a nap and I was very tired.


    But I couldn't sleep because you're so curious and you want to see what's going on all the time. The party was beautiful and you were a princess.
    Now, we are starting to look for a buffet for your 1st birthday party. We went for a tasting at Planeta Kids, in Santana and they already lost points with me because there was no tasting of sweets. But worst of all was the pressure they put on us to close the contract.
    WOW. They wanted us to close that day anyway. It was pretty embarrassing, and even if I would have loved the buffet (which I didn't) I wouldn't close under their pressure. Let's keep looking until I find one that I think: THIS IS IT!

    5) My professional life is pretty bad, little one. Every month it gets worse and it's hard to pay the bills. If I don't go ahead with the plan to go to the US, I honestly don't know how I'm going to do it.
    My dad wants to hire me to earn a good salary to do the administration part, but besides knowing that he's going to take it out of his own salary to pay me, which is already pretty unfair, I feel like I'm getting things I didn't battle for it, you know?
    I want to deserve! And I want to pass on this important value of work to you.

    6) We bought our tickets to San Diego. Yay. You will meet my home, and the place where your parents met. I hope it's everything I hope for. We're going to stay at Aunt Camila's house, my friend who was my roommate when I lived in San Diego.
    We're staying for 26 days, and out of curiosity I looked up how much it would cost to book a hotel, and I was shocked by the prices: R$48K, 65K, 119K.... The cheapest was around 24k and it was the Motel 6 (shitty road Hotel).
    If we depended on a hotel, we wouldn't be able to go. Because imagine spending 48k on a hotel + 13k on a plane ticket. Impossible. I bet you can even go to Maldives. At least for a few days. The downside is that we'll have to adapt to Camila's and her family's routine.
    I already knew they slept early but I got scared when she said that her baby is going to sleep at 7pm. It's okay that it doesn't have to be like you who go to sleep after midnight and wake up at noon, but going to bed at 7 pm I also think it's surreal.
    But anyway, as it is 4 hours late in Brazil, if I put you to sleep at 9 pm, it will be 1 am in Brazil, and then I think you won't suffer from jetlag. And since our return flight is at 7 pm, it wouldn't be such a bad idea.
    Now, I need to ask her what time she and her husband wake up. If it's 8:30, it's too early for me and your dad, so we'll have to try to sleep between 23:30-00:00. But we will be in the place I love most in the world, it will be worth the sacrifice.
    And it is extremely important for you to be a good guest and adapt to the routine of those who are receiving you, as well as helping with tasks and chores.

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