03/07 Chapter 573: You & Me Together Forever And Ever
Tonight we went to a surprise party celebrating Rosane and Cláudio's thirtieth wedding anniversary. It had all been organized by Cláudio's cousins and their children. We were supposed to arrive at 7:30, but we intentionally ended up running a little late. The idea was to make sure they arrived before we did so we wouldn't accidentally ruin the surprise by walking in at the same time. In the end, everything worked out perfectly, although we missed the best part—the look on Aunt Rosane's face when everyone surprised her. Cláudio's reaction, if I'm being honest, wasn't nearly as important. We were there for Rosane, and everyone knew it.
The party was at an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet. Ironically, I had taken you out for pizza the night before at our favorite little place, so this made two pizza dinners in a row. Not exactly a problem if you ask me—I love pizza. At first I was starving because the buffet staff kept serving the guests sitting outside before bringing anything into the room where we were seated. For a while we survived on tiny slices that slowly made their way to our table. Eventually my hunger disappeared, and to my surprise you ate really well too. You're becoming more and more of a pizza lover.
Even though my weight has stayed the same, I've started worrying about my eating habits. Ever since we moved into Grandma and Grandpa's house, my diet has been far from healthy. I know the scale hasn't changed yet, but I also know that's not how the body works forever. Eventually all those pizzas, desserts, and little indulgences catch up with you somewhere.
At one point during the evening I sat near Cláudio's relatives, including one of his cousins. Everyone calls him Caique, even though his real name is Carlos Eduardo. I still don't understand how someone ends up with a nickname that's an entirely different first name, but apparently everyone accepts it without question.
I already knew who he was. Years ago, when I was planning to build a house in my parents' condominium, he was supposed to be the architect. The project never happened, so neither did any real friendship between us. As far as I remembered, he was married anyway, so I had never given him a second thought.
Somehow my name came up in conversation, and before I knew it everyone was introducing us with those knowing smiles people get whenever they decide two single adults belong together. Someone casually mentioned that he'd divorced—for the second time—and I immediately joked that he was basically Ross Geller from Friends. If there was going to be awkwardness, I figured humor was the best way to deal with it. Then, naturally, they announced that I was single too.
I couldn't help laughing. It amazes me how many people seem convinced that happiness only exists if you have a romantic partner beside you. I can be many things, but lonely isn't one of them. I'm happy. My life is good. I love the idea of having my own home, decorating it exactly the way I want, making my own decisions, living under a roof where I'm not constantly being criticized or told what to do. Add to that the fact that I already live with the love of my life—you—and I genuinely feel complete. I don't have this empty space waiting for someone else to fill it. Yet people seem determined to believe that nobody can possibly be happy on their own. I find that incredibly frustrating.
I joked that I wanted to stay as far away from anyone named Caique as possible, that I'd had more than enough of that name for one lifetime and didn't need another one anywhere near me. That's when everyone laughed and reminded me that his name wasn't actually Caique after all—it was Carlos Eduardo. Somewhere in the middle of all the teasing, someone whispered that he was interested in a single mother with twin daughters. I laughed again and said that was the strongest evidence yet that he wasn't thinking straight. Raising one child is already a huge responsibility. Taking on twins? That's an entirely different level.
Ironically, I ended up arguing against my own interests. The truth is that I do think dating becomes more complicated when someone already has children. Most people dream of building a family from the beginning, having children together, sharing all those first experiences as a couple. That's simply reality, whether people like admitting it or not. Dating someone without children is usually easier than dating someone who already has them. The opposite is true as well. If a woman falls in love with a man who already has children, she's also stepping into a life that comes with history, responsibilities, and another parent who will always remain part of that picture. That's just how life works.
And honestly...
I've made peace with the idea that, for a very long time—maybe forever—it might just be you and me.
I'm perfectly okay with that.
After eating far too many little desserts and once again wondering where all that sugar would eventually end up, we headed home. I tucked you into bed, and just as I was getting ready to sleep, my phone buzzed. It was Carlos Eduardo. I have no idea how he got my number—maybe he still had it saved from 2022, back when we were talking about designing the house—but he sent me a message saying he'd felt a little awkward after all the teasing and wanted to apologize.
I told him it was completely fine and joked that I was already used to the craziness of that family. We exchanged a few more messages, but when I noticed it was already after two in the morning, I simply put my phone on airplane mode and went to sleep without saying goodbye. That's one of my little habits. I don't really say goodbye on WhatsApp. To me it's just a tool for answering people whenever I have the time, not a conversation that has to begin and end formally.
So, if life turns out to be just you and me...
Honestly?
That sounds more than enough.
04/07 Chapter 574: Get Out Of My Way
Today I finally got around to replying to the rest of Carlos Eduardo's messages. I'm calling him Carlos Eduardo from now on because that's actually his name, and honestly, I still don't know why everyone insists on calling him Caique.
I'm not much of a texter, but somehow we ended up talking quite a bit. Still, after a while I decided to put an end to the conversation. There were several reasons. First, just as people often unfairly see single mothers as a "red flag," I also think it's reasonable to pay attention when someone is only forty-three years old and already has two divorces behind him. That doesn't automatically make someone a bad person, of course, but it does make me curious about what happened. It's something I notice.
Second, his twelve-year marriage had ended only two months earlier, and he already seemed to be looking for another relationship. That felt incredibly fast to me. Everyone heals differently, but for me, that's another warning sign. Then came the part that made me even more uncomfortable. He kept saying how becoming a father had always been his dream, but that it probably wasn't going to happen anymore. Several times he mentioned that he would happily love a single mother's child as if the child were his own. On paper, that sounds kind and generous. But he repeated it so many times that it became obvious he was indirectly talking about you.
I couldn't help wondering why he was so specifically focused on a woman who already had children. Why keep bringing that up over and over? Why not simply meet someone, fall in love naturally, and let life unfold however it's meant to? The repetition made me uncomfortable.
Besides, I've already told you many times that I don't want another relationship. With our move to the United States becoming more and more likely, I'd be out of my mind to start building something with someone I may soon leave behind. But the biggest reason has nothing to do with immigration. It has everything to do with you.
No matter what happens in my life, I will never, under any circumstances, invite a man to live under the same roof as my little girl. My own experiences have shaped that decision, and they always will. I'd much rather spend the rest of my life single—and I'm genuinely at peace with that—than take even the smallest unnecessary risk where your safety is concerned. It's not because I believe every man is dangerous. It's because I know that some are. As your mother, I don't get a second chance if I make the wrong decision.
Besides, no stepfather could ever replace the love your dad has for you. The same goes for stepmothers. Your father and I may no longer be together, but one thing has never changed: you are deeply loved by both sides of your family. You have a father who adores you, grandparents who adore you, and a mother who would move mountains for you. That kind of love is already bigger than most people are lucky enough to have.
Then came the conversation that completely confirmed my decision. We were talking about why his marriage had ended when he suddenly sent me a voice message explaining details about his sex life with his ex-wife. He said one of the reasons their relationship had failed was because she no longer wanted to have sex as often, then added that sex makes up ninety percent of a relationship.
That was enough for me.
I'm not judging anyone for believing intimacy is important. It absolutely is. Sex can be a beautiful, healthy part of a loving relationship. But when someone you've barely met starts talking about their sex life in that much detail—and that early—it tells me we see the world very differently. At that point, I quietly ended the conversation.
All I want is peace. Whenever I have the opportunity to make myself seem completely uninteresting to a man who's attracted to me, I'll probably take it. A few weeks ago, Tayna told me one of her friends was interested in me too. I laughed, took a picture of my embarrassingly overgrown toenails, and told her to send it to him so he'd lose interest immediately. That's probably the kind of thing I'll keep doing, because I truly don't want anyone. Is it really that hard for people to understand? Not every woman is searching for a relationship. Some of us are genuinely happy exactly where we are.
And if there's one thing I hope you remember when you're older, it's this: there's nothing wrong with sex. It's a beautiful, healthy part of a loving relationship. But pay attention to balance. If someone seems obsessed with it, if everything keeps circling back to it, or if it dominates the way they relate to other people, don't ignore that feeling in your stomach. It doesn't automatically mean something is wrong, but it is a warning sign worth paying attention to. Trust your instincts. They've protected women for far longer than we realize.
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